Today was not like most days. Today was a bad mom day. I'll preface by saying I work from home 3 days a week. I'm not a stay at home mom (one day, please God), I'm a work at home mom. Now, I understand that some moms dream of even that opportunity, and I'm extremely grateful to get to spend so much time with my son as he grows. But today, I wanted to scream or cry or both almost all day long. Little man is now in the "I'm a toddler, so I must touch everything" phase so there was not much to be done while he was awake, with having to get up and correct him every few minutes. But worst feelings of all feelings was when he pulled himself to stand at my legs to then cry because mommy couldn't play with him right then.
I know I'm overreacting, but it makes me feel better to write about it. Hearing my son cry when I can't really play with him like he (and I) want to because my paycheck depends on it is the most awful thing to hear. I don't like putting my work above my family. I want out, I want to just play with him when I want to. I'm starting to become envious of those moms that just get to be stay at home moms. Those moms that don't have to worry about work deadlines and their families, and I'm sure any of them reading this are rolling their eyes thinking "she has it so good!" I have to keep reminding myself of that, but today was a hard day to think that way. To all you stay at home moms, hold your babies close tonight as I try to hold on to mine. To all you successful work at home moms out there I wonder how you do it and not lose your mind. If you have any pointers, I'd be willing to listen. As for now, a good venting session with my own mom will have to do.
2 comments:
Katie,
I stopped by to thank you for commenting honestly on my post about blogging and I am so glad that I did. I do applaud that you are able to work from home. It is great that you can but I would not have the fortitude to do so for exactly the reason that you wrote this post. When my boys were young, I would have wanted to spend my time with them and when they got older, I would have been thinking about everything that i could be doing in my house instead of working. Now I will be honest..... I am and always have been the major bread winner ( I am an RN) I chose to work full time night shift and did so for 35 years because I wanted to provide my family with a stable financial life and give my sons a life that I felt they deserved. Working night shift allowed me to spend as much time with them as I could. I just did not sleep much. I too wanted to be a stay at home, non working, Mom but now that I am 60 years old, I am glad that it did not happen. Here is why.. Because I worked, I will get a decent retirement from Social Security ( more than most men do) and because I worked, I contributed into a 401 K plan that has allowed my husband to retire at 62 years old from the US Post Office as a letter carrier. I will also be able to retire at 62 years old. My boys also learned responsibility, independence and the value of working hard for what they want in life and have turned into confident, independent hard working adults. So even though you may have days like you describe in this post, be happy that you can work from home and also be thankful that you will be setting a wonderful example for your children and one that they will learn a good lesson from...... It will get easier as your children get older......
I hope this helped.....
Thanks for stopping by!!
Hugs,
Deb
May I also add that your blog is not one of the blogs that I spoke of in the post that you commented on. Your ads are done very tastefully and I DO understand your need to have them on your blog. I wish you the BEST!!
Hugs,
Deb
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